I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My feet surprised me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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