He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
