She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
vagina is talking i cant
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
