I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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