the new term for farting is butt boxing.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
