Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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