Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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