Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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