You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We need to rekindle our bromance
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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