Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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