so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
