remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm getting married
To pizza
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
