Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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