around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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