gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
