dude i'm inner monologue high
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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