Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
