Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
