Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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