I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
