that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
