I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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