i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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