I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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