Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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