I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Someone came in the potted fern
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
