My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
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Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize