My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
