First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
