You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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