He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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