You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just google imaged poop.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
