no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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