he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
