I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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