Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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