so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
