guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
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