She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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