K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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