You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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