Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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