I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
