You made me cry and you don't even care
her vagine was all disorganized.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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