and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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