I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize