Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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