so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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