I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
