my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
