you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
