Joe is yelling at the trees again.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I want to be your penis for a week.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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