I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
