I bet he comes in French.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
