Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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