What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
