4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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