omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize