Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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