you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize