He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
