Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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