Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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