just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
