I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize