at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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