this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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