Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
