i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
