"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
